Electron Dance

Electron Dance Highlights

1Apr/11Off

Armpit Empires IX of X: Combat Fatigue

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve more associated with a curve than anything resembling learning. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Combat Fatigue

Here's a mistake I still make. And considering I'm within epsilon of the perfect being, this is really saying something dramatic with trumpets and drums.

It's clobberin' time and you're trying to kick some butt with your small band of mutants. You want to rip Casca a set of new ones because you lust after the Exp Proving Grounds facility he's sitting on top of. Casca may look like Shinji, that kid overdosed on angst in Neon Genesis Evangelion, but he's flanked by a mean-looking pair of Waste Rangers. They range waste like no one else can.

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3Dec/10Off

Armpit Empires VIII of X: The Small Print

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve that feels as comfortable as sitting in a Judas chair. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

The Small Print

Either you're going to play Armageddon Empires or you're going to fall asleep reading the crazy horse amount of text wrapped around each card in play. Rapid Reaction, Shock Attack, Raider, Vengeance... WTF is all this?

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12Sep/10Off

Armpit Empires VII of X: The Democratic Error

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve similar to the sharpened edge of a scimitar, shortly before it dashes across your neck. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

The Democratic Error

Have you ever tried to arrange a piss-up in a brewery? An orgy in a brothel? A ruthless military campaign in a post-apocalyptic wasteland? Well, I have and I can tell you that if there's one thing that ruins a good party it's the noble search for consensus. It's the problem of what colour to paint the bike shed, all over again. Everyone thinks they're an expert and has something very important to say. In a party, this can kill friendship or at least the chances of getting your leg over. On the battlefield, it's Goodbye Momma Scourge Platoon.

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24Aug/10Off

Armpit Empires VI of X: Green Zone

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like X-COM, the Inuit version. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Green Zone

You've got an army off exploring, looking for resources. Maybe you'll get lucky and uncover a cache of fabulous treasure, but +1 Attack FG-2 Flechette Guns don't grow on trees. Unless you're in the employ of the Xenopods, of course.

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1Aug/10Off

Armpit Empires V of X: Full House

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like a ladder missing alternate rungs. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Full House

Imagine you were running an inn, somewhere in the Middle East. Roughly two thousand years ago. There's a big party in town and someone is throwing a lot of denarii your way to put everyone up for the night. Every room this night is filled with the guests of this rich host. You turn none away.

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15Jun/10Off

Armpit Empires IV of X: Army Origami

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like the Heaviside step function. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Army Origami

Let's set the scene. It's the first Armageddon Empires game where you see the AI HQ. You feel semi-successful. You've gone up a level. Well done. Have a cookie.

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15May/10Off

Armpit Empires III of X: Naked Ninja

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like the five-hour ascent to Jomon Sugi on the beautiful island of Yakushima. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Naked Ninja

Time to roll out your bad-ass army that can run silent. Maybe it's a group of Imperial Rangers or just sneaky Xenopod assassin Mi'go up to mischief as usual. (Tsk, that guy!)

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8May/10Off

Armpit Empires II of X: Blind Man’s Buff

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like the hulking oak tree you smacked your BMW into. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Blind Man's Buff

Would you send a blind man out into an irradiated and lawless wilderness to fend for himself? No, of course you wouldn't. You're no monster (unless you're playing xenopod, in which case you harvest human flesh to breed a thousand young).

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29Apr/10Off

Armpit Empires I of X: Open Door Policy

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like the thigh of a mastodon. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Open Door Policy

HM knows you will do this and loves you anyway. During your first few games, you will leave your base completely undefended. Not having any resources means you couldn't even afford a small Yorkshire Terrier puppy to stand guard at the base. So you put it off. And put it off. And put it off. Then:

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