Electron Dance
1Aug/10Off

Armpit Empires V of X: Full House

HM loves Armageddon Empires and wants to share this love with you.

This ten-part series covers some common newbie mistakes in this game, which has a learning curve like a ladder missing alternate rungs. You will make these mistakes and more. But at least you will know you were not alone.

Full House

Imagine you were running an inn, somewhere in the Middle East. Roughly two thousand years ago. There's a big party in town and someone is throwing a lot of denarii your way to put everyone up for the night. Every room this night is filled with the guests of this rich host. You turn none away.

Then this couple comes to the door. He looks bedraggled, she looks... pregnant. “We need a room,” the man says. “She's going to give birth.”

“I'm sorry,” you say, “there's no room at the inn.” Whatever.

Then he adds: “But this is no ordinary birth, friend innkeeper, this is the Son of God right here.”

You look up and see a bright star in the sky – which looks more like a comet, truth be told – and the Angel Gabriel waiting in the wings, with wings. “Shit, you're right. I've got a stable, is that any good?”

In Armageddon Empires, you don't have a stable to fall back on. You need to leave a room open just in case something special turns up. I am talking about your card hand.

You can only hold a certain number of cards in your hand and the natural reaction is to keep it full, to maximise the number of cards at your immediate disposal.

But pull off some cool research or have your people dig up some fabulous shiny trinket, and a heartwarming moment like this...

...can turn into a which-kid-do-I-shoot moment like this:

Don't be that innkeeper. There ain't no stable for your +1 Attack FG-2 Flechette Guns.

Next: Green Zone

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