Imagine yourself lost in a dense forest, each tree unique yet the same. Now imagine every tree is a Portal 2 review. That forest is the internet and I have a chainsaw.
Is there any point writing about Portal 2 for Electron Dance? Practically everything that could be written about it already has. There's an infinite number of monkeys out there, you know who you are. Both Brainy Gamer (shhhpoilers) and RPS revealed tinges of disappointment. Kirk Hamilton felt Valve loved him, loved him personally. Most sites rave about the brilliance of Portal 2.
My Alliance of Awesome neighbours have shared some opinions already. Armand at BnB thought it was excellent. Steerpike of Tap-Repeatedly got angry with the game, but then got angry with himself. Then we all got angry with Steerpike, simply because we love the hating.
Should I ask more social questions of the experience? What does Portal 2 mean in popular culture? Are people singing the new Portal 2 song as much as "Still Alive"? Do we have a replacement meme for "the cake is a lie"? Lemons?
Is it okay to abuse the Steam connection to retcon the ending of the original Portal? Do we think the version of Portal 2 with no Chell, no portals, no GLaDOS is a game we still want to see? Have I had it up to here with graffiti in games? If so, do I have any friends who agree? Is the ending too long? Are Valve getting too safe with their game-making? What the Hell is all this stuff about Prometheus?
Is Portal 2 less endearing, being a big-shot commercial endeavour rather than the small garage experiment that was Portal? Do people want a Portal 3? Can we have Ellen McLain playing a different video game character other than GLaDOS? If you're not being positive about Portal 2, are you being pessimistic just to stand out? With so much hype, is it possible not to be disappointed?
I rattled my brain trying to come up with a different angle but gave up. Electron Dance needed fresh blood, someone else to offer cutting edge Portal 2 insight.
I recruited that fresh blood and now I can offer the definitive review of Portal 2. You'll find this to be an extremely frank, no-holds-barred discussion of the strengths and weaknesses of Valve's latest. No spoilers but be warned - you may decide not to purchase the game after listening to this video.